Blog

#Restore Love, Kindness & Civility

9/16/2018 10:50:33 AM

This crab was painted a few months back on a whim as I couldn’t think of anything else to paint.  Today it prompts memories of a wonderful evening with family, friends, and a bushel of unfortunate crabs.

For some time I’ve been struggling and had difficulty isolating what was bothering me.  Recently I’ve narrowed it down to longing for years past when people truly cared for each other and simply enjoyed each others company with no particular agenda.  I reflected to my husband and son my childhood memories of family and community.  

Most Saturday nights were spent  in the company of our aunt, uncle, and cousins…either in Nelson County or Madison County.  We never grew tired of these evenings filled with conversations, laughs, and delicious country cooking.  

Sunday morning was church where everyone (…most everyone) greeted me with smiles and well wishes for a great week ahead.  I enjoyed seeing my dear Grandma Lottie in her glory in the church she loved.  She offered sweet smelling hugs and warmth only  she could offer.  Then home where Mom would have a wonderful, hot lunch where we all sat around the table. There was never a shortage of conversation and a tremendous sense of safety, belonging, and care.  I did grow impatient as my parents took a post lunch nap which seemed like a waste of time…I now appreciate what a treat this was to them.  After lunch was visitation.  Either we visited friends or they dropped in on us.  There was no planning, no calling ahead, no calendar invites…you just showed up to say “hi.”  Everyone did this and everyone was welcome…this was the way we spent the “day of rest.”  

There were always picnics, cook outs, pot luck dinners, reunions, and “Homecoming.”  Home Coming was one of my favorites.  This was when everyone came back to church—especially those from a distance.  Following church there was a major picnic with tables of everyone’s specialty or favorite recipes.  There was a sense of pride in preparing your best for this.  Perhaps the best part was the lemonade!  Ben Wood and Kermit Quick would have a special table set up with two enamel kettles filled with lemonade. The exterior would be sweating from the summer heat as lemon slices floated among the ice cubes.  When you went to the table the would swirl the big dipper around in the kettle and fill your glass with delicious lemonade.  Smiles were exchanged…they seemed to take great pleasure and purpose in this service to those in the community.

Even work involved socialization.  Most in our community farmed to some degree….typically very small, self sufficient farms. When it was time for cutting hay, silage, or butchering hogs (sorry…but reality), friends and family came to help.  The host family would prepare a bountiful meal of the scale of your favorite holiday.  The meal preparation was filled with chatter and laughter.  All generations working together to prepare a meal for all generations working in the fields.   This was all the payment anyone looked for as they knew when it was time—others would there to help them.

While I could go on for pages…I’ll stop here.  All of these seem to involve food—but that alone is misleading.  The real key is they all involve preparing food for those you care about and taking time to enjoy each others company.  I’ve been mourning the loss of the simple times and pleasures of my childhood.  I’m caught up in the crazy world, the technology, the politics, the lack of time, the demands….and it is totally stifling!  

What does this have to do with a bushel of crabs?  Last night, some 25+ years later, my family went from Nelson County to Madison County to have dinner with my aunt, uncle, cousins, and friends.  It truly, truly nourished my soul!  They drove over an hour one way to pick up the crabs and other seafood up, brought them home, prepared them, and opened their home to us all.  We put our food together to create a wonderful meal.  Most importantly, we all sat around a table chatting, laughing, reminiscing, and taking great comfort in each others company.  The only agenda was enjoying each other and picking crabs.

I go into this week feeling restored and connected.  It instilled hope there is a glimmer of love, kindness, and civility around us, but it will take effort to bring these to the forefront.  Maybe I should start a new movement—#restore love, kindness, and civility!  

In our little county newspaper, many years back Miss Ruth had a social column where she would high light dinners, parties, etc with great detail.  They would all end with “a good time was had by all.”  Thank you Julie and Wes for your hospitality and a wonderful, wonderful evening…”a good time was had by all!”

Now my crab painting serves as a reminder of a special evening with family…

Have a great week!

Beth

Seasons

9/9/2018 11:53:31 AM

This year it seemed everyone was on the same frequency....sunflowers.  I've never seen so many sunflowers around homes, breweries--just about everywhere I looked.  I actually had some at my house as well. They were an absolute delight!  Some were very deliberately planted and others were strays from randomly dropped birdseeds.  Regardless of the method or motive for planting the yield was the same--massive, beautiful blossoms reaching for the sky. They seemed to be secret code for "be happy...enjoy life...don't let society get you down...look up!"  

As fall approaches I always find myself feeling sad.  I love summer--the warmth, color, sounds, and fun. While fall is beautiful...the doldrums of winter will follow.  I believe everyone should have one week of winter, but then the colorless, leafless, cold, butterflyless, germ filled, blahness needs to pass. Forgive my winter rant...back to fall.  I see the sunflowers starting to change as fall approaches and this too makes me sad. Then I remembered how much the birds love the seeds from the sunflowers.  These aren't ready for them to eat until the plant starts to fade and wither. 

The changing season turns the blossoms that nourished our souls all summer to food nourishing the birds when the cold approaches.  It is very likely these little guys will drop seeds here and there to restart the cycle in the spring.  There is important lessons in the changing of seasons.  This is especially clear to me as I'm getting older.  Our vitality changes.  While the new seasons are not quite the same--they are just as important.  We need to embrace each new season for what it has to offer.  Now I will keep telling myself this everyone morning when I'm dragging my stiff self out of bed.  

I have evidence this is true!  I fondly reflect on my grandmothers and my parents. The lessons learned, expert skills, and advice they shared was not there when they were in their 20's or even their 30's.  It came much later in life and they were eager to share. I'm thankful I often took time to appreciate them and their wisdom.  I often reflect on this and apply it everyday. They nourished us richly.  

This helps me say goodby to my shriveling sunflowers with dropping petals and browning leaves. The grateful birds will be enjoying them the most when the blooms look their worst.  I'm hopeful this will help soften the change of seasons and coldness of winter--the promise each season nourishes us in some way. 

Have a great week!

Beth